Jamie Flood

This moment is defining. It changed the way I see. Once I was cast in a shadow of doubt but now the light shines upon me. Change is not so negative when its viewer chooses beauty. I choose to see beauty, this moment gives that to me.

I dedicate this poem to last year If we were created in gods image Then when god was a child he smudged fire ants with his finger tips and avoided tough questions There are ways around being the go to person people Even for ourselves Even when the answer is clear Like the holy water gentiles drink Before they realised that forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past I thought they were chime shells in your pocket So I chucked a quarter at it Hoping to hear some part of you respond on a high note You acted like I was hurling crowbirds at mockingbars And abandoned me for not making sense Evidently I don’t experience things as rationally as you do For example I no mercy when I have enough money to change the juke box at a gay bar You no mercy whenever someone shoves a stick of morphine straight up into your heart God dam it felt amazing the days you were happy to see me So I smashed a beehive against the ocean To try and make our splash last longer Remember all the honey It had me looking like a jellyfish You walked of the water in a porky pine of light Strands of gold drizzled out to the tips of your wasps This, is an apology letter to the both us For how long it took me to let things go It was not my intention to make such a production of the emptiness between us Playing tuba on the tombstone of a soprano To Try and keep some dead singers perspective alive It’s just that I could have swore you song me a love song back there and that you meant it But I guess some people just chew with there mouth open So I ate earplugs alive with my throat Hoping they’d get lodged deep enough inside the empty spots That I wouldn’t have to hear you leaving So I wouldn’t have to listen my heart keep saying All my eggs were in a basket of red flags All my eyes to a bucket of blind fools In the cupboard with the muzzles and the gars You no I didn’t mean to speed so far out and off Trying to drive your nickels to the well When you were happy to let them wishes drop But I still show up for gentleman practice In the company of lead dancers Hoping their grace will get stuck in my shoes Is that a handsome shadow on my breath sweet woman? Or is a cattle call at a school of fish Still dance with me Less like a waltz for panic And more for the way we hope to swing That night we took of everything And we were swinging for the fences Don’t hold it against my love You no I want to breathe deeper than this I didn’t mean to look so serious I dint mean to act like a filthy floor Didn’t mean to turn us into some cutting board But there were knives Stuck in the words were I came from To much time in the back of my words I pulled knives from my back and my words I cut trombones from the moment u slipped away And I know it left me looking like a knife fight lady I know it left me Feeling like a shotgun shell You know I no I might have gone and lost my breath But I want to show you how I found my breath to death It was buried under all the wind instruments Hidden in your castanets God dam if u ever want to no how it felt when u left If u ever want to come inside Just knock on the spot where I finally pressed stop Playing musical chairs With your exit signs I’m going to cause you a miracle When you see the way I kept gods image alive Forgiveness is for anybody Who needs a safe passage through my mind. If I really was created in gods image Well then when god was a boy he wanted to grow up to be a man, a good man And when god was a man, a good man He started telling the truth in order to get honest replies He’d say yeah I know I should have wore my cross But I don’t want to scare the gentiles off.